And at this point, I kind of feel like an artist who took 4 years to drop an album. Not because I’m an artist or because any of this was highly anticipated, but because after so long I feel like this better be a good ass post. Sorry 4 tha wait, but it’s time to disappoint you guys once again.
Four months came and went with absolutely no hand-crafted perfection for my diligent readers. I’d like rationalize my inability to crank out quality reading material with any sort of consistency, but I’d be lying to you and myself. In all honesty, I’ve had numerous chances to sit down and whip up some of that mentally refreshing literary genius you all have come to know and love. I’ve also had an equal number of chances to blow it off and do infinitely more mind-numbingly simple tasks. Its much easier to sit on my phone and scroll for hours or just lounge in bed all evening, propped up on a stack of pillows with a mean double-chin and some heavy mouth breathing while I rewatch the same show for the sixth time.
It’s similar to working out in some aspects. There are so many ways to easily manipulate myself out of going to the gym. With excuses galore on standby at all times, my propensity to avoid a productive project and instead be lazy is huge. That’s not to say I haven’t accomplished anything. My last endeavor on here topped out at over 8500 words, something I was fairly satisfied with. I also continued to jot and note aimlessly on paper as concepts to write on came to me, to keep my creative conceptions from dying just as quickly as they were formed. But I let my complacency get the best of me, preventing my earnest and plentiful followers from enjoying their much anticipated publications from their favorite blogger. But complacent no longer I shall be.
What exactly has brought me back to perfecting my scholarly craft could be a loaded question all in itself. While there has been a completely unexpected amount of love shown from you readers for my blog, which has been beyond appreciated, it’s not the only reason I’m back on this digital horse. What I think has drawn me back to my keyboard is the love of pushing myself. I love bettering myself for the sake of growth. Writing has become something I enjoy that also pushes my mental proficiency. One might then be led to ask who the fuck thinks writing a blog would actually impact any sense of mental skills, and my answer to that is “Me, bitch.”
Writing has always been something I’ve enjoyed and I also find I’m a bit of a natural at it. That’s not to go off the deep end and say I’m a skilled writer or even a good one at that, just a craft that comes to me with more ease than most. It’s also a skill I’d like to refine so that one day more than three people would anticipate what’s next from me. Which brings us pretty full circle to the reason I’m here throwing hours of the day towards typing a sentence, erasing it, and then typing the same thing just slightly different. I want to be better, and this is a start if anything. Where this will carry me is completely unknown, but what I do know is that growth is absolutely necessary. For everyone. Be it small or large, there are goals and dreams in nearly every single person out there, and in order to achieve those there always needs to be a conscious development and improvement. Even if not for dreams then just to be a well-rounded person. To change and progress your life, in the midst of 99% of people not noticing, just to be a better you.
If you have zero concern of taking steps in life and trying to surpass the You from yesterday then this post isn’t for you, and you can wait another four months for my next post to see if that one is any more relatable. As for myself, one of my greatest fears in life is being unsuccessful. I want my accomplishments to have great impact, for my life to be extraordinary. I don’t mean to drop a bombshell on you wonderful readers who actually made it this far, but I have a love of standing out. I know, I know, I’ll give you a minute to take that in. But taking a couple hours of my life here and there to help work on a skill and grow as a human is not a tall order. I am making a promise to myself to continue this and to continue to give you all a glimpse into the manic rantings constantly flowing through my head. I’d apologize for it but you’re the one who chooses to come back to this and suffer under your own accord. So I have zero sympathy.
And with this busting back onto the blogging scene, I hope someone reading this out there gets the tiniest bit of motivation to get their shit together if only for a couple hours and works on themselves. Read up on something you’re uninformed about, put your laundry away and clean your house, call a friend, go work out. Find a positive way to clear your mind. Whatever it is that you love to do but haven’t pushed yourself to do it in a while, go do it. You’ll appreciate yourself tomorrow when you do.